I think...
No...
I know I sometimes forget to tell my husband how much I appreciate him. These last several months and most importantly the last couple of weeks have taught me alot about myself. I stay at home with my daughter everyday. My husband goes out to work. Only the last several weeks he hasn't worked.
Several weeks ago Anthony was playing volleyball and broke his pinky finger. After going to the doctor he found out that he not only broke it in one place, but two. He also found out that he would never be able to play guitar (his passion & gift) again unless he had surgery. When I found out, I was upset for him. But that soon subsided and all I could focus on was him not working. I am ashamed to say it...I became angry. I was mad that he wasn't working.

Sophia and I pretty much have a routine down for our days and Anthony being home was going to throw all of that off. Not only that, there would be absolutely no money coming in. Yet, another blow. Something else to pile on the list of things for me to be upset about.
Our home life these last 2 weeks have been stressful. At times unbearable. I have cried. I have gone out alone on drives just to get away. I rolled my eyes at Anthony whenever he did his therapy exercises at home. I have been mad, bitter, and upset. I deseperately needed an attitude check. All for what...Anthony not working?
No, it's much more than that.
I do know I have been ungrateful. I have not appreciated my husband working and providing for our family. (I'm pretty sure I was taking it for granted). I know that I have been extremely difficult to live with. I know that I have a mouth and I use it. I know that I have not trusted the Lord in our situation. I have seen how I can be utterly selfish. I know that I was anything but encouraging.
I do not know yet the full extent of what the Lord is teaching me. But I do know I need MORE. More of His presence. More of His grace. More of His teaching. MORE. It's funny how something so small can teach you the most about yourself. I am still a work in progress.

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