Sometimes life hits you smack in the face and sometimes it blows by like a cool breeze. So, this blog is about that...LIFE. It's about funny moments, surprises, refrigerators, scrapping, being a mom, photography, relationships, beaches, books, celebrations, and all the stuff in between.
So, enjoy and thanks for reading a little bit about me.
Being a stay at home mama isn't easy. I don't sit at home and eat chocolate. I don't watch TV all day (we don't even get TV stations). I don't go out for lunch everyday (we eat ham sandwiches and leftovers). BUT, I do get to spend everyday with Sophia and I would not want to trade that for anything. My house is cleaner than it's ever been. I am able to cook (which I love). My laundry is not overflowing out of the hamper. I feel very blessed that I am able to stay at home.
That being said, I know I don't express to Anthony how much I appreciate him working. I know I don't tell him enough how grateful I am that he works to provide for our family. I know there are some days that he would rather stay at home and hang with us. I know there are days when it's hard for him to go to work. But he does it. And I...I am SO thankful he does. So, ladies...when your man comes home from work tonight. Tell him. Tell him you appreciate what he does and you notice how hard he works.
And yes, it took a pinky injury for me to realize that I am not so good at expressing gratitude towards my husband. So, Anthony...I know you will read this and probably not comment, that's ok. Thank you for working hard for us. Thank you for allowing the Lord to use you at the post office for this season in our lives. Know that Sophia does miss you when you are gone and EVERY time she hears the car pull into the driveway she comes running to see you. Love you!
I know I sometimes forget to tell my husband how much I appreciate him. These last several months and most importantly the last couple of weeks have taught me alot about myself. I stay at home with my daughter everyday. My husband goes out to work. Only the last several weeks he hasn't worked.
Several weeks ago Anthony was playing volleyball and broke his pinky finger. After going to the doctor he found out that he not only broke it in one place, but two. He also found out that he would never be able to play guitar (his passion & gift) again unless he had surgery. When I found out, I was upset for him. But that soon subsided and all I could focus on was him not working. I am ashamed to say it...I became angry. I was mad that he wasn't working.
Sophia and I pretty much have a routine down for our days and Anthony being home was going to throw all of that off. Not only that, there would be absolutely no money coming in. Yet, another blow. Something else to pile on the list of things for me to be upset about.
Our home life these last 2 weeks have been stressful. At times unbearable. I have cried. I have gone out alone on drives just to get away. I rolled my eyes at Anthony whenever he did his therapy exercises at home. I have been mad, bitter, and upset. I deseperately needed an attitude check. All for what...Anthony not working?
No, it's much more than that.
I do know I have been ungrateful. I have not appreciated my husband working and providing for our family. (I'm pretty sure I was taking it for granted). I know that I have been extremely difficult to live with. I know that I have a mouth and I use it. I know that I have not trusted the Lord in our situation. I have seen how I can be utterly selfish. I know that I was anything but encouraging.
I do not know yet the full extent of what the Lord is teaching me. But I do know I need MORE. More of His presence. More of His grace. More of His teaching. MORE. It's funny how something so small can teach you the most about yourself. I am still a work in progress.
Hard to believe that 2 years ago (1 year ago) this little bundle was born. Now, she is in full toddler mode including but not limited to: jumping, ever-increasing vocabulary, dancing, a recent obsession with washing her hands, doing things herself, pink, babies, chalk, books...and unloading the dishwasher (yes, everytime she hears me open the dishwasher up she comes running to help). We had a little party for Soph at our house and celebrated with cupcakes and ice cream.
It almost didn't happen (read here if you want to know more), this one week vacation to the sunny beaches of Ocean Isle. But it did. We traveled down with some awesome friends (like family). Imagine eighteen of us, one house, 4 bathrooms, a pool...and yes ocean front view. We had an absolute blast and made some awesome memories. We all needed a little bit of...
We all wish the beach wasn't just a "once a year thing". And yet, because it is what it is, I look on the bright side. Because there's something really magical about visiting a place just once a year. It becomes a most wonderful measure of time, family and growth.
Remember when Sophia touched the ocean for the first time? Remember when you wanted to jump off the balcony into the pool? Remember night walks on the beach? Remember the yummy coffee drinks made to order? Remember the Purple Onion? The pool? Crabbing? The Brentwood? Nerts? (yup).
We remember. I hope this is a family tradition that continues every summer.
We come home refreshed and rejuvinated from breathing the fresh air of salty beaches, sunshine and togetherness. Family and tradition. And we all look forward to the next time. Whenever that may be.
And yes, the last picture is all of our kids. Stay tuned for part II of the beach tomorrow.
I really don't mind traveling. So when my mom called me on Friday asking me if I wanted to go up to Indianapolis (with my sister and Hannah) for a family baby shower I said sure. I will spare you all the last minute details that took place and the 25 phone calls that happened. It was set: We were meeting at my house at 9. The baby shower started at 2. This would give us PLENTY of time to eat lunch and have several potty breaks in between. Indianapolis is about 3 hours away.
Saturday, 9:10am: Of course, JoAnna is not at my house. Mom and I decide to call. She doesn't answer...no surprise. I text her: (you better be around the corner and that's why you're not answering). No response back. What is most aggravating is that at 7:30 THE SAME MORNING JoAnna called me to make sure we were still meeting at 9! At this point I am only slightly irritated.
9:30 am: JoAnna pulls in the drive way.
9:36 am: We load up the Lincoln and leave for Indianapolis.
9:40 am: I need caffeine...we hit McDonald's.
9:50 am: Back on the road to Indy.
9:52 am: Sophia coughs. Now, Sophia woke up with a little cough. I gave her some juice and a little Benadryl earlier that morning...hoping this would help. Sophia is still coughing, so much so that my mom (being the GRANDMOTHER she is) decides that Sophia needs cough medicine.
10:01 am: We pull into the KMART parking lot in Versailles so Mom can run in and get some medicine. Mom suggests that we take the girls out of the car and let them walk around and stretch their legs. Fine. We take the girls out. What is supposed to be a "little stop" turns into a fiasco. Mom has to ask the pharmacist what to give a 2 year old for a cough. We walk up to check out and of course there is only 1 line open and 3 people in the line. Sophia will not hold my hand and throws herself on the ground. So, I take her outside to have a talk. She is crying at this point...she knows what's coming. Mom, JoAnna, and Hannah come out and of course my mother sees a little merry-go-round. Of course, the girls have to have a ride...what kind of grandmother would she be if she didn't let them ride?
10:32 am: We pull out of KMART and head towards Indy. I text Anthony to pray for me. This is going to be a long trip.
12:03 am: Potty break and lunch.
1:04 pm: Back on the road.
2:04 pm: We reach Indianapolis. Only we are on the west side of town...we need to be on the east side. Yes, we were lost.After several phone calls and re-routing ourselves via the iphone. We reach the shower at 2:45. Yes, a 3 hour trip took us 4.5 hours! Keep in mind, my daughter has not napped the entire trip up. And we haven't stopped for a potty break since lunch. My nerves were shot and all I wanted was to get out of the car.
5:30 pm: We head out after saying our goodbyes. My mom and her sisters don't see each other very often, so we have decided to have dinner together with them at Cracker Barrel.
5:42 pm: As we are pulling into the parking lot Sophia throws up. No, I'm not kidding. The mixture of cake from the shower, punch, hershey kisses, and cough medicine didn't sit right with her. (YA THINK?!?) I spend the next 15 minutes cleaning puke off of Sophia and the car seat. Thankfully I bought a change of clothes!
7:13 pm: After saying our goodbyes and Mom getting some directions on how to get back to the interstate...we head back home.
7:24 pm: We get a call from my cousin, Pam saying we should have turned with them onto the highway...are we lost? We need to turn back around. Of course not, Mom said she will just take Interstate 70 to Cincinnati and go home that way.
7:28 pm: We get another call from my Aunt Helen saying are we going the right way...we should have followed them. SERIOUSLY?! I tell her that we are fine and we are going home through Cincinnati. After this I am a little concerned. But Mom assured us that we were heading the right way.
7:53 pm: I begin to see signs for Dayton, OH. WHAT THE... I pull out my trusty iphone. And yes, we were definitely heading the wrong way. I mentioned something to mom and she said she thought we were heading the right way. I made her look at the iphone. She freaked out! All this time she thought Interstate 70 was 74. We took the next exit off the Interstate and decided it would take less time just to get back to 74 than to turn around. Mom felt so bad.
8:18 pm: What happened next was a bunch of right and lefts down county roads with soy beans fields on one side and corn on the other and this video.
9:03 pm: Mom decides to stop at a Dairy Queen (of all places) for a potty break. She buys ice cream...for everyone! Seriously, it's 9:03. All I want is for Sophia to sleep and my mom comes out with a vanilla cone for Sophia. Sometimes I think she's forgotten what it's like to be a mom. (HA!) I offer to drive so mom can have a break. And yes, the cones were good. And yes, Sophia took 2 licks and she was finished.
10:28 pm: We make a bathroom break and switch drivers in Dry Ridge. The girls are all asleep by this time.
11:30 pm: We arrive home 4.5 hours later.
This was my Saturday (in a nutshell): Lost ladies in a Lincoln on a late night.
It was June 9th. It was a hot day. I was excited...we were leaving for Ocean Isle Beach on Saturday. Sophia would see the beach for the first time. I remember I was doing some last minute loads of laundry. I was sitting on the couch folding laundry when Anthony came home for his break from work. Little did I know the conversation that would take place would change my life forever. It would test my faith in the Lord. It would impact our marriage...our life...our everything.
You see Anthony came home from break to tell me that he was loosing his job. Looking back now, I am amazed that I didn't yell or freak out or go for a drive. This blow...2 days before vacation. How could it be? Why was this happening to us? I didn't understand. He said, "Sarah, I need to tell you something." It's been eating at me...I was going to wait until after vacation. But I can't. I'm being let go." For a moment I felt like I was paralyzed. I just looked at him. I thought about Sophia (thankfully she wasn't there, she was being watched by a friend). "I'm sorry, you said what?"
In that moment I was griped with fear, anger, hurt, and utter disbelief. This man...who's job we relied on to live- wouldn't have one. A million questions went through my head in the next several minutes as we just sat there in utter silence. Where would go? How would we buy diapers? Food? What about our bills? I was scared out of my mind. Would I have to go back to work? (My heart ached at this thought) What about our insurance? We would have to cancel our vacation...we needed to save money.
I cried...no, I sobbed. I asked Anthony how could he do this? I could hardly look at him. I remember thinking how grateful I was that Sophia wasn't there to see me cry. I remember the look of hopelessness and failure in Anthony's eyes. His break time was over...he had to go back to work.
I wish I could tell you that I immediately grabbed Anthony's hand and said let's pray. I wish I could tell you that I turned to my Bible or began praying by myself. I wish I could tell you that I wasn't angry or scared. I wish I could tell you that I gave everything over to God. I wish...
I didn't do any of those things...right away.
Instead I cried. I told God I didn't understand. Worry set in like a shadow...dark and looming. I felt helpless, I felt alone. I worried what people would think. I wept and I yelled out. I fell to my knees.
I forgot about WHO MY GOD WAS.
I forgot that He is my provider, my comforter, and my peace. I forgot that He is faithful. Let me just say that this took me a little bit folks...to remember this. I remembered Sophia. I remembered when we first first married and how God provided. I remembered all the little things that God took care of. Then, I fell to my knees. I prayed like I never prayed before.
Fast forward 2.5 months later...
I am not proud of how I reacted (yes...REACTED not RESPONDED) to Anthony's news. The Lord answered many prayers these last several months. I realized alot of things about myself. I now see God in a new way. The people (and you know who you are) who stood by us and encouraged us. The ladies who hugged me while I wept. The late night conversations and wisdom from our friends were more than we hoped for. These last several months, for me have been huge in the issue of trust. Trusting in my Jesus, that He heard me...that He listened to me...that He had it under control. Trusting in the written word of God that He speaks through that. And trusting myself...that I do hear that still calm whisper of my Savior. I learned about the power of prayer. I learned to be still. I learned to listen. So, yes...we went on our family vacation to Ocean Isle. We had an awesome time. We tried to "forget" about the job for a week. Yes, Anthony is still employed with the Post Office. The Lord worked all of it out, in His perfect timing. He did. Yes, this is the reason that I stopped blogging. (I've got alot of catching up to do and I'm excited to be blogging again). I've seen a changed man, in Anthony. A new ownership of who God has called him to be and it is quite refreshing. Yes, we feel the Lord stirring the waters (and have for some time) for our future. We are excited about what the Lord is doing in our lives and where He is taking us. For now, we will rest and trust in Him.
Here's some pictures from our summer vacation...more to come later.
We like to dance in our family (well...me more than Anth). None of us are any good.
But, for us...it's not about being smooth. For us it's an outward expression of emotion. It's a way for us to say I love you, I enjoy being with you, you make me happy...without words.
Growing up I rarely saw my parents dance together, but when I did...I remember giggling and laughing and then trying to get in between them and dance with my Dad. I remember my wedding day almost 12 years ago and watching my parents dance was absolutely magical. Sometimes when I am in a foul mood (it's usually when I'm doing the dishes) Anth will grab me and we'll dance. I look at him like he's crazy- but it gets me out of my mood.
Fast forward to yesterday...Anth was doing the dishes and I grabbed Soph and we started dancing. Her little face immediately brightened up. She held out her little hands and said more! So I scooped her up, put my cheek to hers, and we twirled in the kitchen. While I was cleaning up the living room last night I hear Sophia giggling and hear loud footsteps...Anth was dancing with her. I hope we have many more moments of dancing in the kitchen together. So, tonight in your kitchen...dance a little.
Here's a little mix to help you get started! Enjoy.
How do you go from 7 pounds to 27 pounds? How did we get from wondering if you would ever walk to you running through the house carrying toilet paper and prancing around in the living room? How did we get from listening to you cry when you were awake to hearing you have entire conversations with the air in the morning? How did we get from us reading to you to you reading to us? How did we go from diaper bags, burp cloths, and bottles to play kitchen's, trains and babies? How did we get from spoon-fed mush to you loving meat? It happens so fast and really I didn't realize how fast it would happen. Sometimes I look at Sophia at wonder how I got to be so blessed. She is such a great kid. There are days, after correcting her that I wonder...am I really doing the right thing? I look into those blue eyes and see myself staring back at me. I think I have ONE chance to get this right. (How desperately I need the Lord to guide me!) There are some days when I worry about what she's wearing and if her hair looks right...I need to STOP this. I need to let her just be a kid. Right now is the time for sticky hands, imagination, dressing up, muddy feet, finger paint, and being a girl. The worries of the world will come soon enough.
So how did we get from a baby to a toddler...in just a snap of the fingers. Pardon the reminiscing...but I need to get this out. Happy Thursday everyone!
left to right: soph playing with her new water table * first stop friday night kroger for some last minute stuff for fajitas * jumping on the tramp for the first time with lucia * street art downtown lexington * went downtown lexington with the halbrook fam to eat dinner and walk around * bike exhibition downtown * i think this was the 33rd pair of sunglasses i tried on * anth putting together soph's kitchen * enjoying a drumstick * baking cookies * memorial day at the durhams...soph was checking out the water balloons * water balloon toss
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