Sometimes life hits you smack in the face and sometimes it blows by like a cool breeze. So, this blog is about that...LIFE. It's about funny moments, surprises, refrigerators, scrapping, being a mom, photography, relationships, beaches, books, celebrations, and all the stuff in between.
So, enjoy and thanks for reading a little bit about me.
Being a stay at home mama isn't easy. I don't sit at home and eat chocolate. I don't watch TV all day (we don't even get TV stations). I don't go out for lunch everyday (we eat ham sandwiches and leftovers). BUT, I do get to spend everyday with Sophia and I would not want to trade that for anything. My house is cleaner than it's ever been. I am able to cook (which I love). My laundry is not overflowing out of the hamper. I feel very blessed that I am able to stay at home.
That being said, I know I don't express to Anthony how much I appreciate him working. I know I don't tell him enough how grateful I am that he works to provide for our family. I know there are some days that he would rather stay at home and hang with us. I know there are days when it's hard for him to go to work. But he does it. And I...I am SO thankful he does. So, ladies...when your man comes home from work tonight. Tell him. Tell him you appreciate what he does and you notice how hard he works.
And yes, it took a pinky injury for me to realize that I am not so good at expressing gratitude towards my husband. So, Anthony...I know you will read this and probably not comment, that's ok. Thank you for working hard for us. Thank you for allowing the Lord to use you at the post office for this season in our lives. Know that Sophia does miss you when you are gone and EVERY time she hears the car pull into the driveway she comes running to see you. Love you!
I know I sometimes forget to tell my husband how much I appreciate him. These last several months and most importantly the last couple of weeks have taught me alot about myself. I stay at home with my daughter everyday. My husband goes out to work. Only the last several weeks he hasn't worked.
Several weeks ago Anthony was playing volleyball and broke his pinky finger. After going to the doctor he found out that he not only broke it in one place, but two. He also found out that he would never be able to play guitar (his passion & gift) again unless he had surgery. When I found out, I was upset for him. But that soon subsided and all I could focus on was him not working. I am ashamed to say it...I became angry. I was mad that he wasn't working.
Sophia and I pretty much have a routine down for our days and Anthony being home was going to throw all of that off. Not only that, there would be absolutely no money coming in. Yet, another blow. Something else to pile on the list of things for me to be upset about.
Our home life these last 2 weeks have been stressful. At times unbearable. I have cried. I have gone out alone on drives just to get away. I rolled my eyes at Anthony whenever he did his therapy exercises at home. I have been mad, bitter, and upset. I deseperately needed an attitude check. All for what...Anthony not working?
No, it's much more than that.
I do know I have been ungrateful. I have not appreciated my husband working and providing for our family. (I'm pretty sure I was taking it for granted). I know that I have been extremely difficult to live with. I know that I have a mouth and I use it. I know that I have not trusted the Lord in our situation. I have seen how I can be utterly selfish. I know that I was anything but encouraging.
I do not know yet the full extent of what the Lord is teaching me. But I do know I need MORE. More of His presence. More of His grace. More of His teaching. MORE. It's funny how something so small can teach you the most about yourself. I am still a work in progress.
We like to dance in our family (well...me more than Anth). None of us are any good.
But, for us...it's not about being smooth. For us it's an outward expression of emotion. It's a way for us to say I love you, I enjoy being with you, you make me happy...without words.
Growing up I rarely saw my parents dance together, but when I did...I remember giggling and laughing and then trying to get in between them and dance with my Dad. I remember my wedding day almost 12 years ago and watching my parents dance was absolutely magical. Sometimes when I am in a foul mood (it's usually when I'm doing the dishes) Anth will grab me and we'll dance. I look at him like he's crazy- but it gets me out of my mood.
Fast forward to yesterday...Anth was doing the dishes and I grabbed Soph and we started dancing. Her little face immediately brightened up. She held out her little hands and said more! So I scooped her up, put my cheek to hers, and we twirled in the kitchen. While I was cleaning up the living room last night I hear Sophia giggling and hear loud footsteps...Anth was dancing with her. I hope we have many more moments of dancing in the kitchen together. So, tonight in your kitchen...dance a little.
Here's a little mix to help you get started! Enjoy.
Thursday @ 10:04 pm: I am working on some things on the computer in the office and Anth comes in to give me a kiss and tells me he is heading upstairs to bed. I needed to just finish up a couple of things, so I told him I would be up in a little bit. YEAH RIGHT! I got sucked in to the madness that is Youtube. I started watching a video, and just couldn't stop.
Thursday @ 11:45pm: I manage to look at the clock and realize it's almost midnight. But do I stop watching and go to bed?? NO! I watch a couple more Youtube videos. Watch you must realized is that I usually don't watch Youtube...I mean when I hear people that watch it for hours- I laugh...I mean seriously, how can you waste that much time?
Friday @ 1:16am: It's now officially past 1am. My eyes are still glued to the computer screen watching Youtube. I know...I am crazy. It's okay. I realize this.
Friday @ 2:24am: I am having to hold my eyes open and realize I seriously need to go to bed. I have an 18 month old that will wake up promptly at 8am and expect breakfast. So, there it is folks my Thursday night/Friday morning. And here is watch consumed most of my time on Youtube. Enjoy: Cimorelli.
Friday @ 9:32am: I manage to open my eyes and stare at the clock. HOLY COW! I hear Sophia talking and it surely is not to me. My husband has managed to leave for work at 7am and come home on his break only to find me fast asleep and Sophia talking away in her crib. That's right folks...in her crib. She was in there for an hour and half while mama got her sleep on. (I felt SO unbelievably guilty) Somehow when I managed to come to bed in my state of mind I didn't turn the baby monitor up loud enough. So...I didn't hear Sophia at all. Apparently, I didn't hear Anthony tell me goodbye OR wake me up when he came home again. OH MY! So my amazingly wonderful hubby not only got Sophia up and ready but made breakfast too. While eating, I must admit that I was not in the best of moods. I explained to Anthony why my state. I mean I have never had a hang-over, but seriously that is what I felt like. Extremely lethargic, nauseated, a pounding headache. All he said was I hope you enjoyed your nap. (ouch!)
Friday @ 9:54am: I told Anthony I was going to have to make it up to him, by making his favorite...tator-tots. Seriously folks, this man is NOT hard to please.
Friday @ 12:43pm: Feeding Sophia lunch and I decided that the only way I was going to feel better was to take a nap. I put Sophia down for her nap and I climbed into bed. Yes, I remembered to turn the monitor up this time.
Friday @ 4:34pm: After a 3 hour nap (yeah!) dinner plans are in the works. I change my mind and decide to make an AWESOME (aaaaalllejuah! picture the angels singing) meal. I cook away, making Pork/Sausage stuffing, sweet-potatoes, and peas.
Friday @ 6:06pm: Anthony (the king) walks in the door kicks off his shoes and sits down to eat to an awesome meal! right!?! WRONG! I tell him what's for dinner and he gets this disappointed, hurt, wounded puppy dog look on his face. Don't get me wrong...he liked the meal. But what he was looking forward to was tator-tots!
Sunday @ 8:02 am: So, I have planned to make this Chicken Enchilada Soup and I know Anthony will really enjoy it. I informed him I was doing so and he was excited about actually coming home for lunch on Sunday afternoon. It's a really eazy-peasy recipe. You just open a bunch of cans (chicken, enchilada sauce, nacho cheese soup, evaporated milk, cream of chicken) and combine them. I did this. Well, almost. While pouring in the sweetened condensed milk, I thought it was really thick. But that's about it. Seriously, folks I should have thought about it alot more.
Sunday @ 1:03pm: Anthony serves our soup up and we eat. Only...we don't. I taste one bite and the soup is SWEET! Totally ruined the entire batch! I now know the difference between evaporated milk (like the recipe called for) and sweetened condensed milk. SHEESH! I felt so bad. I went into the kitchen, cried, and offered to make him a sandwich, but he said he wasn't hungry. Another meal = ruined by yours truly. And yes, if you know me I did take a picture of this disaster (to the left).
Sunday @ 2:15pm: Sophia is napping and I tell Anthony...dinner will be hamburgers and fries. There's no way I am ruining this meal.
So, my dear sweet husband. Thank you for holding down the fort while I was napping after staying up too late watching Youtube. Thank you for loving the simple things like tator-tots. Thank you for not being so hard on me Sunday afternoon after I completely ruined another meal for you. Thank you for laughing...because I needed it. Next time I make Southwest Chicken Enchilada soup I will be sure to use evaporated milk (like the recipe said). Love you.
Thirty-four years ago God was in a very good mood when he sent Anthony down to Earth.
I think He knew exactly what the world needed...
Someone who could inspire me to be Me.
Someone who would have a heart for worship.
Someone who will do the dishes if the dishwasher is emptied first.
Someone to teach his daughter the art of grilling a brisket.
Someone who would rather watch a movie with me than a football game.
Someone who can't swim very well...but still goes in the water to "swim".
Someone who lets me take pictures of him whenever I see fit.
Someone who would be a great husband and father.
Someone who loves reading to Sophia.
Someone who would have an obsession with David Crowder.
Someone to recall directions to his wife when she is lost downtown.
Someone who could sing and play the guitar quite awesomely.
Someone who could handle 2 dramatic girls.
Someone who takes great pride in his driving skills.
Someone who could spell any word anyone asked of him correctly.
Someone who supports my scrapbooking habit.
Someone who would skip the first grade...just because he was smart.
Someone who was born and raised in the great state of Texas.
Someone who would kiss me goodbye every morning before he leaves for work.
Someone who hates to dress up and would much rather wear flip flops and a t-shirt.
Someone who's favorite movie of all time is A Walk in the Clouds. (hehe)
Someone who recognizes the importance of teaching Sophia the proper way to pronounce enchilada.
Someone who could have a servants heart.
Someone to wake up every monday morning and take out the trash.
Someone who would wake up at 6 am with Sophia so momma can get some more sleep.
Someone who can find the greatest joy in a delectable Krispy Kreme.
Someone who has to know where his phone is at all times.
Someone to teach his wife how to sing the right words and the right tune. (naaaa!)
Someone who lets his daughter pile-drive him to the stomach and jump on his head because she thinks it's fun.
Someone who has adapted to my heating/cooling temperament.
Someone who's biggest goal in life is to love the Lord, take care of his family, and make sure they're happy.
Someone to call me about the randomest things just to give me a laugh during my day.
Someone to travel to El Salvador and have his life changed.
Someone who would go out of his way just to please a person.
Someone that loves me and Sophia unconditionally.
Just before God was finished... He threw in a great smile and an espionage-like instinct for good measure.
I remember when we were first married and I couldn't wait to open my eyes in the morning and see his cute face... things haven't changed. Well, he has grey hairs and a gotee. But even better because I knew I'd be with him when we were old and grey.
today my hubby called me. no big deal...he calls me throughout his day about random things. this time he told me about a song. this song. he tells me about songs all the time and wants me to listen to things all the time. i didn't think anything of it. so after i put sophia down for her nap i listened to it. over and over again. somethings can't be said...but music can say it. i can't explain it...but this song said alot.
yesterday was a hard day for me. emotionally. i realized things about myself i hadn't. it was hard! said somethings i now regret. i need to learn more how to bite my tongue. i'm worried about our court date (i know...i should be celebrating) but i am still anxious. i completely unloaded on anthony. i was drained by the time i was finished. i'm sure he was also. he said some things that i needed to hear. it was hard...but it was REAL. this morning i will admit i am still emotional. i probably will be until this is all over. but i also realized that i have anthony. he is walking through this with me. i am so thankful for that. so anthony: thank you for listening to me and thank you for hearing me. i know i don't tell you that enough. thank you for taking time out of your day to call me. thank you for challenging me. thank you for praying for me and thank you for walking through this roller coaster of a journey with me. it's almost over.
better or worse i am tethered to you.
ps: i realized while writing this that i have never shared sophia's story on here. so, that will come later.
We've all been there, those moments when you are giving 110% percent and you feel like you can't just give anymore. Those moments when you come in the door and you are bombarted with something you said but didn't mean and it hurt the person you loved. The time when you went out of the way to do something special and it's not even noticed. Oh wait, how about speaking the TRUTH...(in love) and the other person doesn't want to hear it.
They've been exposed, you said how you feel, it's off your shoulders...
right?
now you wait for that one word that will make it all better...
I've been so guilty of this exact thing millions of times. I've been upset, tried to keep quiet, but just get aggravated, so I say what's wrong (you know...because HE asked)...now what. What did that accomplish? Lately, I've had to check my motives. I've had to ask the Lord to show me when to speak and when to be quiet. In those times I realize that it's more about me than the other person. This senario is played out alot in my house...yeah I open my mouth ALOT. There are times when I am just at my wits end.
Case in point today: I have asked repeatedly for my husband to take the trash out. It's simple. It has to be done everyday. Does this happen? NO...it doesn't. Why can't he get it? You tell me. But I know this...how I choose to respond/react is all me.
I know taking out the trash is something little but I think that's why it's so hard for me to let it go. I'm fixing lunch or dinner I want to throw stuff away, but I can't because the trash is full. I know I could do it myself...but my hands are already clean and if he would just do it in the morning I wouldn't have to worry about it. RIGHT? Come on! RIGHT? Seriously, my husband and I have gone around and around on this.
So, here's what I'm really trying to say...no relationship is perfect. So he doesn't take out the trash sometimes, but you know what I realized- every Monday morning, he takes the garbage out to the curb and brings it back that evening. (Tonight, taking out the trash is on me!) There are always some ways you have to compromise, to bend, to give something up in order to gain something bigger. Love is sometimes gross, sometimes it's messy, sometimes it's letting someone see the the not so pretty parts of you...and yes, sometimes love can get a little moldy. But love is also those unexpected moments that blow you away, the bubbly feeling in your stomach...the times you can't just stop smiling. It's in those moments we realize love...it's all worth it.
this post is to my wonderful hubby of 10.5 years. who on our first valentines day (2.14.1999) let me take these hilarious photobooth pics...
my best friend, admirer-er, inspiration, shoulder-to-lean-on, awesome cook, wonderful daddy, makes me laugh, my fix-it man, etc. we celebrated this valentines day by doing on a date to see this movie and out to eat at five guys. i think i fall more and more in love with this man each day. he surprises me in the littlest of ways, like this valentines day post and the lovely cd mix he made. love you so much anth!
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